I couldn't leave this one alone. The head was just not right. So I went back for a third (fourth?) time. For this approach, I just painted. No sketch, no under-drawing, just (digital) paint. It's been in my head for awhile that I might just want to pull out the acrylics again. But there's so much involved in actually PAINTING that I knew I'd never get around to it. So I held my Apple Pencil from the back, as far as I dared and just went at it. Observation and determination. The end result is a hell of a lot better than that last but still not perfect. I think it's as close as I can get at this point while retaining some of that 'visual ambiguity' (sorry, been reading and watching too much about the art world lately).

If I were to print this out, it would be big; 30x40 or so. I think the face shows some of the work and feels more solid than the rest of this. But that's how I saw this young man on the subway. The rest of him didn't really come into focus until I look at the photo. So. I'm calling this done and can now move on. I don't regret the time I spent on this or the different versions necessary. I need to break out of myself to keep growing. I hope this represents a step.

Forgot to mention that I'd watched a couple of documentaries on James McNeil Whistler. I experimented with a palette made from one of his paintings. I think his work is worth more study. Don't know why I haven't looked into him more before.

 

 I can't leave well enough alone. I've been working on another version of this piece. I've redrawn the face three times and done the body quickly as I want the focus to be the face. And I'm still not satisfied with it. But I am working on it, though why is anyone's guess.

 Another page quickly done. I think Smatt's getting taller...

 Went through a lot of color choices and finally decided on this. I really want/need to loosen up but I also want to push to see how far I can retain some likeness. I think this still works and I like the result. Likely it won't go over well, but I'm kind of past that. I enjoy my work and look at it all the time. It's also been interesting to see what happens when I reach a skill level of drawing that allows me to rely less and less on replicating what's in front of me while still using reference. I erase so much less than I used to. Might be that I've reached the point where I can just take joy in the act of making and not pay as much attention to the tools or the skill. Well, that's the goal anyway.

 And with that, this blog turns 20. Back in 2006, I was in the middle of "Fite!" perhaps about halfway through. Fite was started because we'd moved to a very small town in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't get work. Well, to be fair, Fite was started before that but I concentrated on it because I was unemployed for the first time since I was 18. Webcomics were fairly new and Fite was part of something called Webcomics Nation. I posted there at least once a week, there were a few followers, I got interviewed once (though it never saw print). Fite was, in my mind, my attempt to 'sell out,' meaning do something more mainstream and less experimental. (Spoiler: it wasn't that mainstream.)

By the next year, I was already looking ahead to Tamino, working on designs and ideas for that story. Tamino would take a lot longer, not least because I was working again. And other things would distract me along the way, such as "Harlon." But even in 2006, there was a self portrait, one that would be recropped and painted and part of my one and only show. It would also sell there.

I really think keeping a blog, journal, something is a useful tool. It helps organize thoughts, see direction, evaluate what I was doing and might do next. I keep waiting for the big G to remember Blogspot is here and turn it off. All but one person (hi, Vince!) that used to follow this or whom I used to follow are gone. It's kind of sad, really but I still see the value in keeping this place. If anyone ever does have interest, I've detailed pretty much everything I've done in the past 20 years. Even if no one ever does, I do. And that's good enough.

Sometimes I just need to chill and draw. I've done so damned many self portraits, it's kind of sad. But I'm an easy model, available and cheap. I started with the top drawing in my sketch pad, trying to loosen up, which I did. Proportions are purposefully off, just trying to have fun. The initial idea was to 'ink' it, which I did. Then I wanted to play around with loose coloring. Did that, too. But when I was done, I kind of liked it better without the lines. I'm working on the colors but as of yet, haven't found a palette I like. So we'll see. I kind of like it in black and white but think it needs to be developed more. Or tossed aside.

 

 Decided to finish that sketch from a few days ago. It's a bit pouty but that's ok. Not a perfect likeness, but I like the image. Blue and brown is my favorite color combination.