Watched a documentary on Salinger today and was struck by the photo that was taken of him while in military school, mostly because this is likely the only picture of Holden Caulfield. I'm not a huge fan of Catcher but I did read it. The documentary was interesting and worth watching. So I drew this. It's cockeyed on purpose as I accentuated some of the features of the photo.

All that being said, there is a distinct freedom with this blog. I know that only one person is really watching it so I can post and write what I want. I think a lot about my art, I put a lot into it both with effort and study. It matters to me. It has little audience and likely always will. As time goes on, I'm coming more and more to terms with it. The pangs, the sharp pain of its lack of acceptance come less and less frequently. Eventually, perhaps I'll stop posting it altogether and just keep it for me. It's on a totally different level of course, but not entirely unlike Salinger, huh?

First up, a comp piece as I work out the kinks for the general look to the next short story I'm working on. I used contour drawing to try and suggest a more dream-like atmosphere. There are still some things I want to change, but this is mostly what I want it to look like. Second is just Sharp punching. Morning warm up kind of thing.

Stuff from the last few days of drawing. The sketched heads are just me working out expressions for the new avatar which, until I get a better name, is called Hose-Mike. It's work to stay this loose and of course a good deal of that energy is lost when drawings are inked. The next was just a little evening warm up kind of thing, combining characters and styles just for fun. What are they saying? Who knows? Hosey is talking in a form of Lucco-speak and Crawford is channeling Woodstock. Last is a kind of process image. Yup. It's Sharp again. The original pencil is to the left, the Illustrator-inked version is in the middle. It's sharper (heh) but that style just takes too damned long. That version took a couple of hours total, for just one character. There's no way that's sustainable for making a whole comic. I haven't been inking as usual as I didn't think the style would work with traditional inks, or rather I didn't know that I was good enough to pull it off. Then I inked the drawing (20 minutes) and colored it in an equally short amount of time. So if I'm careful, I can manage it which will make things a lot faster.

Not really a -closet- gamer, but it's not something I bring up all that often either. Of all the creative outlets I have, roleplaying has probably been my favorite, even over art. Why? Because when it's at its best, I'm engaged in many different ways. There have been times when I've truly learned to think as another person, or character and make decisions that aren't mine. Why is this a good thing? It helps me expand my own view, to try on another coat. Also, it allows me to flex acting muscles that I probably don't really have. Like it says in the comic, it's a kind of karaoke. I also truly believe that it's the only art form that cannot be appreciated from the outside. Sure, one can recount 'battle stories' and such but the feeling just isn't there. That's the paradox of gaming; everyone wants to tell their tales and few if anyone else really wants to hear them. It's easy to go overboard, place too much importance on gaming. People have. Few people. Most I know just really like the creative outlet. It's kind of make-believe for adults. More than video games, where you don't really get to make decisions, a really good game can be utterly immersive. If you haven't done it, I can't explain or if you've never been in a good game, same thing. Did this because it's kind of the anniversary of when I started gaming, and also because I just like to draw the new rabbit. :"D

So, I had a busy day. I took the last version of the rabbit I drew yesterday and did him three times today. It's a lot looser than I usually draw and while it requires more structure in some way, it's less realistic? Or something. Regardless, they were fun to do. The only problem is that I tend to want to draw very large, with big, sweeping curves and as such, I tend to overfill the paper. Then I took the same filter I used for the rabbit and used it on Sharp. Don't know if that means anything or not, more likely it was just an exercise to see if I could. Anyway, stuff.

This is a sample of what it often takes me to get to an image I'm happy with. Three times. The first is me sticking pretty closely to the 'canon' of rubber hose style. I used a Speedball nib to make sure the lines were consistent all the way through. This helps to make a stiffer figure. The second was just referenced from the first and was inked with a brush, my usual tool of choice. It's better. Different mood, but still the same character. Then, throwing aside most of the preconceptions and 'rules,' I just loosely sketched the last one, letting the lines flow a lot more, really messing with the anatomy. I think it has a lot more life than either of the other two (if a bit more depressed). It's also, I think, more -me-. Often the best things I do are those that are the third version of something. I guess it's a form of refining. I do wish I could get to this kind of thing earlier on. Maybe next time.

Just a quick warm up sketch of Flick, the apprentice.

Still feel lousy but that doesn't mean I can't try and make something. Quickie self portrait in pen and ink, evening warm up. Probably took about 45 minutes total. Hard to tell. The only way I was noticing time was by the passage of the Tom and Jerry cartoons in the background. I am, indeed, a lout. Usually would have left the hair alone (hair is tricky) but somehow it seemed to work out ok. The less I think about drawing, often the better. Anyway, just a sketchbook doodle.

A new year, a new color, a new avatar. That's how it goes, right? The reaction to the rubber hose guy was kind of surprising. I didn't think it was all that exciting but my 'reject' got more attention, as I said, than my other stuff. So let's play a little with him. I do tend to want to change things up for each year of Biography. This is the fourth year I've done a journal comic, and it's not something I'm keeping that well up with. And that's fine. It's an overview, a snippet. Also, besides the template, I feel I can experiment with it as much as I want. That's freeing as well. But for right now, I just need to get over this crappy cold.

Still home sick. Still feeling the need to do SOMEthing even if it's between long periods of sleeping on the couch. Stupid cold. Anyway, here's the cast of what will eventually be a finished comic. What I do like about this is that I think each expression pretty much sums up that character.

It's reject time. Did this the other day. For some reason, I got really interested in rubber hose style animation and spent most of the day just tooling around in this playground. Didn't end up producing anything really worthwhile, but I posted the results on Tumblr and, low and behold, the rejects were more popular than the finished stuff. Ah, well. I don't -hate- these, I just don't know that there's anything here that's really worth anything. Still, I think it's good to post the good and the bad, right? Not everything works out and we learn more from mistakes than successes. Or so it's said.

Was home sick yesterday but still felt the need to draw something. So, a quick Sharp. Nothing else to it, really, just this.

This is what I did yesterday using one of the selfies I took in Europe as ref. The rabbit was harder to do than the fox and came out a lot less cartoony. The shape of the nose made it such that I can't eradicate a feeling of 'scowl.' Oh well. As has been going lately, though I made an inked drawing with plans to just color it as is, as soon as I drop the line layer out to take a look, I end up liking the image without the ink better than with. I still like the original drawing, included here, it's just that there's something about that 'cut paper' look that seems more appealing to me at this time. The whole 'Sound and Fury' comic ended up this way, and for each page there's a completed ink drawing that's never seen. Oh well, if that's part of my process, that's part of my process.

So, it's 2014. 2013 was not the best of years. Ups and downs were quite high. On the positive side, this year I finally did something about a job I really didn't like at all any more. I made a move to a different job that will allow me to work less while still earning the same amount as I was at B+N full time. With that comes a management team that shows respect and caring and which seems genuinely interested in helping me do a good job, something which is very important to me. I do NOT like doing things half-assed (except when it comes to promoting my art; at that I am decidedly sitting on one cheek). I also got to travel to a part of Europe that I've never seen and which I didn't think I might ever see. Mom, Val and I went down the Danube on a rover cruise that will last me the rest of my life.

That being said, the downside of the year was tragic enough to weigh down both those things. The loss of my mom is a wound felt keenly every day. I nearly reach for the phone to call and talk to her quite often, having to tell myself over and over that I can't. She lived her life her way, never gave an inch she didn't want to give. Few people can say that. If she left this world with any regrets, I think they were very few.

But this blog is about art. Something I rarely post or even think about is photography. Yet whenever I go on vacation, I take a lot of pictures. Up til now, I've collected the best and made hardcover books of them, giving the books to my mom for gifts as it's usually her that's taken us abroad. This year I didn't get the chance. As such, the photos have been sitting in a folder, waiting. I'd made a rough pass of them, initially thinking that they weren't as good as the ones I'd taken in Italy. I went through them a little more slowly yesterday and have changed my mind. I don't think my outlook on how I take photos changed, I think I adapted somewhat to the place I was in. Italy had details EVERYwhere, little things I focused on that told the story of the past living in the future. Eastern Europe seems to have been more about the big picture. I still shoot a lot of closeups and zoomed shots from afar but there are also some shots of the farmers; market in Vienna or the view above Salzburg that say just as much but in a different way. Below are some of the few shots I pulled from the pile and sized down to post. I will say this; Hungary in particular has some wonderful statuary. Note, too that these photos have only been resized. One of them has some minor darkening and contrast shifts, but otherwise I haven't retouched them much yet. So be kind. There are also a good few selfies. I think the one in the mirror of me on the boat is perhaps one of the best composed self portraits I've ever made.